In short: Partygate is still a thing, energy bills might be a bit less expensive now, watch out for monkeypox (Pictures: Wales News Service/Getty)

Look, you’re tired of reading about partygate, we’re tired of writing about partygate.

Maybe that’s how some politicians would life us all to be – fatigued with the news, bored of reading about politics.

Well, here at Metro.co.uk, we’re bloody determined not to give them the satisfaction.

This week has been a particularly grim one, the latest in a particularly grim news era.

We don’t blame you for ignoring constant ‘the world is ending’ notifications on your phone.

So we’ve put together one handy ‘the world is ending’ report so you can rip the plaster off, get the most important bits in and go back to ignoring us.

Spoiler alert: The world is not ending but this week will make you wish it would.

Sue Gray report

Top civil servant Sue Gray was given the very simple job of independently investigating her own bosses.

She had to pause her inquiry when the Met made a U-turn and suddenly decided that allegations of law-breaking are in fact something the police tend to look into.

The Met finished up, exposing Downing Street as the most Covid-law breaking area in the country, and Ms Gray was finally able to release her report on Wednesday.

She concluded ‘senior leaders’ should ‘bear responsibility’ for the rule-breaking culture in government.

This government Covid campaign aged well (Picture: NHS)

Previously unseen photos showed the prime minister and chancellor Rishi Sunak gathered with other staff on Mr Johnson’s birthday, which both politicians got fined for.

Uncovered emails revealed how one top official boasted that staff had ‘got away with drinks’, while another advisor warned staff not to wave bottles of wine around while cameras attending the daily Covid briefing were leaving.

It also emerged that security and cleaners faced a ‘lack of respect and poor treatment’. A union representing those workers in government has since called for a protest.

Mr Johnson told parliament he was ‘humbled and has learnt a lesson’, insisting he has taken ‘full responsibility for everything that took place on his watch’.

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Several Tory MPs have called for the prime minister to resign, with Paul Holmes quitting as parliamentary private secretary over the partygate scandal.

He said: ‘It is clear to me that a deep mistrust in both the government and the Conservative Party has been created by these events, something that pains me personally as someone who always tries to represent Eastleigh and its people with integrity.’

TL;DR: *In Keir Starmer’s voice* One rule for us and another rule for them.

Texas school shooting

There are no words to adequately describe what happened in Texas this week.

18-year-old gunman Salvador Ramos walked into Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, and shot 19 children and two teachers with an AR-15-style rifle.

The pupils were aged between seven and 10. Irma Garcia and Eva Mireles died shielding them.

Ramos was eventually shot by a border control agent.

Salvador Ramos killed 19 children, two adults and injured others (Picture: Enterprise News and Pictures)

This is the second-most deadly school shooting in US history (Picture: Reuters)

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It has since emerged that police stood outside the school for ‘up to an hour’ while Ramos was inside killing children.

Heartbreaking footage shows parents begging officers to do something and trying to run into the school themselves.

Like every other school shooting, this tragedy has ignited a debate about gun control.

There have been 2,052 school shootings in the US, leaving 661 dead, since 1970 when records began.

This means we have had this debate more than 2,000 times before.

Of course, it sure helps that some of the big players in the debate receive millions of dollars from the National Rifle Association. You can see their names below.

Blood money:

Senators who have taken the most money from the NRA, according to the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence.

Mitt Romney (Utah) $13,647,676
Richard Burr (North Carolina) $6,987,380
Roy Blunt (Missouri) $4,555,722
Thom Tillis (North Carolina) $4,421,333
Marco Rubio (Florida) $3,303,355
Joni Ernst (Iowa) $3,124,773
Rob Portman (Ohio) $3,063,327
Todd C. Young (Indiana) $2,897,582
Bill Cassidy (Louisiana) $2,867,074
Tom Cotton (Arkansas) $1,968,714
Pat Toomey (Pennsylvania) $1,475,448
Josh Hawley (Missouri) $1,391,548
Marsha Blackburn (Tennessee) $1,306,130
Ron Johnson (Wisconsin) $1,269,486
Mitch McConnell (Kentucky) $1,267,139
Mike Braun (Indiana) $1,249,967
John Thune (South Dakota) $638,942
Shelley Moore Capito (West Virginia) $341,738
Richard Shelby (Alabama) $258,514
Chuck Grassley (Iowa) $226,007
John Neely Kennedy (Louisiana) $215,788
Ted Cruz (Texas) $176,274
Lisa Murkowski (Alaska) $146,262
Steve Daines (Montana) $123,711
Cindy Hyde-Smith (Mississippi) $109,547
Roger Wicker (Mississippi) $106,680
Rand Paul (Kentucky) $104,456
Mike Rounds (South Dakota) $95,049
John Boozman (Arkansas) $82,352
John Cornyn (Texas) $78,945
Ben Sasse (Nebraska) $68,623
Jim Inhofe (Oklahoma) $66,758
Lindsey Graham (South Carolina) $55,961
Mike Crapo (Idaho) $55,039
Jerry Moran (Kansas) $34,718
John Barrasso (Wyoming) $26,989
John Hoeven (North Dakota) $22,050
Susan Collins (Maine) $19,638
James Lankford (Oklahoma) $18,955
Jim Risch (Idaho) $18,850
Tim Scott (South Carolina) $18,513
Kevin Cramer (North Dakota) $13,255

Republican senator Mitt Romney alone received $13,647,676 from the NRA in 2019 according to the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence

After this most recent slaughter, Mr Romney offered his ‘thoughts and prayers’.

TL;DR: 2,052 ‘thoughts and prayers’. Maybe they’ll start working at 3,000?

Cost of living crisis

Mr Sunak – who definitely, absolutely, categorically did not time his announcement to distract from the Sue Gray report – is splashing the cash again.

The chancellor revealed the government would be giving a £400 grant to every household in the country to help with the soaring prices of electricity and gas.

Initially, the chancellor offered a £200 loan in disguise for energy bills, which would have been recouped through higher bills over five years.

Now every British home will automatically receive a £400 discount on their bills from October and you no longer need to repay it.

There is also extra help for the most vulnerable, including a £650 one-off payment for those on benefits, a £300 grant for pensioners and an extra £150 for disabled people.

You can find out if you’re eligible for any of that here.

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Mr Sunak also announced a windfall tax on oil and gas giants, which have been making extraordinary profits as consumers pay for record-high fuel prices.

The chancellor, who was previously against Labour’s calls for the levy, managed to announce the windfall tax without actually saying windfall tax.

Mr Sunak denied there was any political strategy behind the timing of his announcement, telling money-saving expert Martin Lewis: ‘I can categorically assure you that had no bearing on the timing for us announcing the support, I can give my absolute assurance on that and my word.’

TL;DR: Who Gray? Here’s a cheque!

Monkeypox

Health officials have confirmed that more than 100 cases of monkeypox have been identified in the UK.

We don’t know about you but we really, really just can’t be arsed with another pandemic.

The good news is, this is very different to Covid-19. The smallpox-like disease can be serious for some but it isn’t airborne and it doesn’t spread all that easily.

Most people recover from moneypox within two to four weeks (Picture: Metro Graphics)

The NHS says monkeypox can be spread through:

Touching clothing, bedding, or towels used by someone with the monkeypox rashTouching monkeypox skin blisters or scabsCoughs or sneezes.

Most people recover from their symptoms in two to four weeks but they have to be isolated to break the chain of infection.

The UK has bought 20,000 doses of the smallpox vaccine to be offered to close contacts of those who get infected.

TL;DR: Don’t panic.

And finally…a Zoom faux pas

This week, councillor Dorian Phillips lived the Zoom nightmare we’ve all feared for two years.

The Plaid Cymru representative for Carmarthenshire County Council suddenly blurted out ‘f***ing swallow that, you f***ers’ on a video meeting.

He has since insisted it was not aimed at fellow councillors.

Dorian Phillips is the Plaid Cymru representative for Carmarthenshire County Council (Picture: Wales News Service)

He said: ‘I cannot deny that I used profane language, but it was not directed at anyone at that meeting.

‘During the session, I had to deal with a non-council business conversation which became very heated, in which colourful language was used.

‘I was horrified to learn that my microphone was turned on and the impression given that I was addressing the meeting. This was certainly not the case.

‘I deeply regret that this happened and I’m dismayed it should be seen as being directed at fellow councillors.’

Mr Phillips referred himself to the public service ombudsman, but Labour councillors have called on him to be suspended from Plaid Cymru by party leader Adam Price.

TL;DR: Your microphone off switch is at the bottom-left corner of your Zoom screen. Use it.

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